Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I'm a Mommy!



Yes, you read that right. The girls arrived at 27 weeks and 4 days. We had no signs that they were coming early and yet here I am, less than a week later, a mommy. Life works in mysterious ways.

Let's rewind to Friday, September 12th. I'd been having some back pain in the days before but nothing that seemed out of the ordinary for a pregnant lady. DH and I spent that night at Newborn CPR class. At one point, when we were talking about car seats and the instructor made a joke that DH and I should get ours installed sooner rather than later because we might be delivering soon, we laughed, having no idea what was in store for us later that night. After class, we grabbed some McDonald's for dinner (which DH insists is what started everything!), watched some TV and went to bed by 10:00 which was pretty typical for me and my big belly. At around 10:30, I woke up feeling like I'd peed. This sensation wasn't all that surprising since I've been feeling leaky, for lack of a better word, for weeks now, but something about it worried me. I headed into the bathroom and the water continued to flow. After a few minutes, I called DH in and we paged my OB. By the time he called back, the water was pink tinged and we got dressed and headed to L&D. There didn’t seem to be any cabs coming so our doorman, who was heading home after his shift, drove us. With the night starting off like something out of a bad sitcom with the doorman rushing us off to the hospital, I should have known more craziness was coming!

We walked into L&D a little after 11:00 pm having a sense of déjà vu since we had just taken our hospital tour the weekend before. Luckily, we had also submitted all of our pre-admission papers that day so that was all taken care of. They checked me in, got me changed and immediately took an ultrasound which showed that Baby A's water was broken and she didn't have much fluid left. Baby B was looking fine and the residents assured me that the fact I wasn't having contractions was good and that we should be able to hold off labor. I got a huge and painful steroid shot after that for the girls' lungs and they started magnesium to keep labor at bay. Afterwards, the nurse asked me was what my birth plan was. I had been joking for weeks with friends that my birth plan was drugs, drugs and more drugs so I told her my only request was an epidural and that the rest was up to my doctors. Famous last words…

My OB arrived and reiterated what we had been hearing -- that we would do everything we could to hold off labor while administering steroid shots to make sure the girls’ lungs were as mature as possible when we finally delivered. He said it could be hours, days or even weeks but seemed confident enough that it would be more than hours to have me transferred into a room with a window. Quite a few mommies on my pregnancy boards had been on hospital bed rest after their water broke, so the idea of being there for a few days or weeks didn’t seems that implausible. I figured I’d be able to relax and catch up on some of my soap operas. How bad could it be?

At this point, DH and I had to laugh a little about where we were. Our plans for the weekend had included packing my hospital bag (I figured I’d have it done really early!), finishing the baby shower thank you’s (if we still owe you one, it’s coming, I swear!) and finally picking names for the girls. Considering what was going on, we decided it made sense to make a choice. So after weeks of debate, we picked names in less than five minutes. I guess sometimes you just need to focus!

Around 2:00 am, I started feeling terrible pains in my back. As I mentioned before, I had been having back pain for about a week – I’d actually just started wearing a maternity belt contraption that day hoping it would help – but this was different. The nurse confirmed that what I was feeling were contractions and said not to worry. By 2:30, they were coming less than five minutes apart and I was in excruciating pain. She told me to breathe through them and most importantly not to push. Here was the thing – I had no idea how to breathe! DH and I hadn’t taken childbirth classes (it was way too early and honestly, we were so sure the girls would arrive via c-section that learning breathing techniques was never high on our list of priorities). I have no pain tolerance whatsoever – I’m not kidding, I cannot stand any sort of discomfort – so the contractions were pushing me over the edge. DH was amazing at keeping me focused and breathing considering I was writhing off the table and desperately trying to pull my oxygen mask off. I was squeezing his hand as hard as possible like I had seen people do in movies but even that wasn’t making me feel better. I could feel tons of pressure in my groin so I had my legs crossed as tightly as possible to make sure I wasn’t pushing but I was sure something was coming. The doctors hadn’t checked to see if I was dilated any earlier because with Baby A’s water broken, they were concerned about introducing germs into the birth canal, but now they decided they had to look based on the frequency of the contractions. Sure enough, Baby A’s head was right there. A little after 3:00 am, they told me she was coming and it was time to push. I asked if I could have an epidural now and they laughed that she was almost out and there was no time for that now. They told me to start pushing and I asked what that meant so the nurse coached me and DH through it. There were no stirrups so I had one leg on DH’s shoulder (things happened so fast, he wasn’t even in scrubs!) and another on the nurse’s. After a few of what I was told were good pushes, Gabrielle Victoria was born at 2:33 am. DH saw her wriggling around and we heard her make a few gurgling noises before she was whisked off to the NICU. All I knew at that point was that she was alive and unbelievably, I was a mommy!

After Gabrielle was born, everyone’s attention turned to Baby B. My OB arrived – oh, did I mention that he missed Gaby’s birth? As far as I can tell, a bunch of residents and interns delivered her. It was like something out of Grey’s Anatomy – “Where’s Dr. Montgomery-Shepard?” “This baby’s not waiting for the doctor! She’s coming now!” It ended up being fine, and when my OB showed up, I told him he missed all of the fun. Looking at Baby B on the ultrasound, she still had a full sac of fluid and was looking good so the doctor’s were debating whether it made sense to hold off on delivering her. Because she was breech and her umbilical cord was what was presenting, they were concerned that if I did go into labor again, she would head down the birth canal cord first so the decision was made to deliver Baby B via c-section. I had always joked that my biggest birth nightmare was having both a vaginal and a c-section but at this point, I was honestly relieved. I was so exhausted from Gabrielle’s birth and the idea of doing it again – possibly without pain killers – terrified me. I was whisked off to the operating room where I got my spinal and was prepped for surgery. It seemed like there were 100 people bustling around but no sign of DH. He finally arrived dressed in what looked like a white paper Hazmat suit (it even had a collar – what I would have given for a camera!) and things got underway. There was a lot of pulling and tugging but other than that I couldn’t feel a thing which was just fine with me. Alaina Marie arrived at 4:33 am and we heard her crying before she headed down to the NICU to join her sister. It took another hour to get me stitched up – they hadn’t removed Gabrielle’s placenta after the vaginal birth and the doctors cracked up when I confirmed they had removed both before they closed me – and then I was wheeled into recovery.

One of the NICU doctors met us there and told us that both girls weighed a little more than two pound each and were breathing on their own which was a huge relief for babies their age. Whether they would be able to continue was a big concern but the fact that things started off so well was good. The doctor explained that the first 72 hours were going to be critical in terms of determining their lung strength, identifying any potential brain bleeds and keeping infection at bay. Based on their breathing, they were cautiously optimistic but only time would tell. She took DH down to see the girls and I made him promise to take pictures. When he came back, he was visibly shaken. The girls were really tiny, very swollen and hooked up to tons of wires and monitors and I think when he saw them, the seriousness of the situation finally set in. Everything had happened so fast up to that point – just six hours before, we had been in bed – that we really hadn’t been able to think about what everything meant. We hadn’t had time to ask any questions but now that’s all we had.

I spent a few hours in recovery and we decided while we were there that until we had a better idea of how the girls were doing, we didn’t want to share the news with anyone other than our parents and siblings. It was just too much for us to make a big announcement when we weren’t sure what was going to happen. DH called his mom around 6:00 am and caught her so off guard, she had to call back an hour later to make sure she heard everything right. Meanwhile, my parents were in Italy on a three-week vacation for their 40th anniversary. We had joked when my mother sent us every contact number under the sun that we’d never need them, but little did we know! We left messages everywhere and waited to hear back. At around 7:00 am, I was moved into a private room – ironically, the one we had looked at during our hospital tour the week before – and DH ran home to check on our kitty and get the things we might need for the next few days.

I finally got to see the girls later that night. DH wheeled me down to the NICU where Gabrielle was in an open bassinet. She had been having some breathing issues so they had intubated her during the day but it was already out. I couldn’t get over how tiny she was! But even being so small, she had 10 perfect toes, ten perfect fingers, little fingernails and eyebrows and a full head of wavy brown hair. She was wriggling around and even though her eyes were covered up, she seemed totally aware. I couldn’t believe this was the same baby we’d seen just a week before on the ultrasound and now here she was. The whole situation was still so surreal! Alaina’s isolette was nearby and other than being enclosed, she had the same wires and IV’s as her sister. Like Gabrielle, Alaina was fidgeting around, waving her hands and her legs, like she was happy to have more room than she did in the womb. She had a full head of hair like her sister and long long little legs. At the ultrasound the week before, Alaina was clearly kicking Gabrielle in the head so we teased her that she chased her sister out early. Seeing the girls was so emotional – we had waited for them for so long and even though they arrived early, having them there was a dream come true. To say it was love at first sight would be an understatement.

The next few days went by in a bit of a blur. DH’s mom and stepdad came down on Sunday to meet the girls and my parents got in from Italy on Monday. The girls’ middle names are for their grandmothers – Victoria for DH’s mom and Marie for mine – so seeing them meet their namesakes was pretty amazing. We counted down the hours everyday (waiting to pass that 72 hour mark was torture!) and continued to get good updates from the NICU doctors. In fact, I think the girls surprised everyone with how well they did. On Monday, Alaina managed to pull her IV out of her hand so they had to restrain her arms. The staff said they’d never seen a preemie at that age have the strength or coordination to do anything like that. That night, she managed to get her toe looped around the feeding tube that was going through her umbilical cord and she tried to yank that out too! So by the end of day three, she had baby restraints on both her arms and legs. We found the whole thing funny and extremely encouraging but it looks like we’re going to have our hands full with that one. She’s already a baby Houdini.

We’ve had great progress reports on the girls all week and the doctors are starting to be more and more positive with us. They spent the first few days really trying to manage expectations, which based on how critical and precarious things were makes total sense, but now they see things looking up. Both girls had brain scans and showed no sign of bleeds, which is great. They’re both on CPAP, which basically delivers air into their noses, and they’re getting room air at this point, which is excellent. Earlier this week, they had scans of their hearts done to check for openings that normally close in full term babies during birth. Alaina’s had closed on its own but Gabrielle’s was still slightly open. They gave her some medicine to close it up and her scan yesterday showed that it was almost gone so now we’re going to wait and see if it will go away without any more treatment. Since their hearts and brains look great, they’ve pulled the intravenous lines out of their belly buttons and put a PIC line into each girl (this is a central catheter that can deliver any medicine or fluids they need) and they started getting 1 ML each of milk yesterday through a feeding tube which will hopefully kick start their digestive systems to start working. And they’re pooing and peeing like champs and are really active. All of these are fantastic signs and the head of the NICU said we couldn’t ask for anything more at this point. That being said, we know the girls have a long road ahead – they expect that they’ll be there for at least 10-12 weeks – and while we’ve had lots of highs these first few days, we’re prepared for the lows that will eventually be coming. But knowing they’ve made it through this critical time with flying colors helps immensely.

I was discharged on Wednesday and am resting at home. Considering I had both a vaginal birth and a c-section combined with the fact that we’ve been through the emotional wringer all week, I have to say I’m feeling really well. The hospital is 7 blocks from our apartment and I walked there and back to visit the girls this morning. I’ve been trying to pump since the girls were born on Saturday and finally got a small result today so hopefully my body is kicking into gear. Ironically, I had appointments with both my MFM and my OB today for my 28 week check ups. I never would have guessed I’d be home pumping when I made those appointments!

So that’s the latest from here. Thank you to everyone who has been sending us well wishes and prayers. We are so lucky to have so many wonderful people who care about all of us. I’ll post more pictures later but here are two for now. Here's a picture of Gabrielle at 3 days old:

And here's Alaina at 3 days old. Notice the gauze on her legs and arms? That's how she was restrained from pulling out her wires. She could still move around but she couldn't wreak any havoc!

1 comment:

Jen & Jeff said...

omg.. omg... What an experience. Traumatic, but yet.. what you've been waiting for! I am so glad to hear they are doing so well. They sure are little fighters so you will have your hands full some day. Thinking of you guys!!
Jej